A wedding weekend

I remember the days I was considered Kyle's little sister. Every class I walked into and every sports field or court, I heard it. But the tides turned after some time, and I remember the hearing him being considered as my big brother. I quietly celebrated those moments. But as I look back, I think Kyle and I would both agree we prefer the later. It's an absolutely honor to be considered Kyle's little sister and I am so proud of the man he has become.
It was truly amazing to share Kyle and Kelsey's wedding day with them. It was beautiful and to see my big brother standing up there saying his vows just gave me hope for anything and everything in my life. He will be the first to admit he has had his trials and tribulations but I tell you what, he has came back better than ever. He is my hero and I love him and my new Sister-in-Law!

The moment...

Have you ever felt like you were the only one that remembered what it was like. All the little moments, the ones where you laughed, the ones that made you cry and everything in between. Every detail, down to the last tshirt I was wearing, I remember. The stupid things I did, the stupid things I said. I remember the details. The location. The time of day. The clothes I was wearing. The food I ate. What if it was all wiped clean, the memories washed away, would you remember? July 1 would be a date to remember. Thanksgiving and Christmas of 2009 would be others. The piece of paper still in the usps next day envelope that is in my night stand, or the notes under my bed. They are all constant reminders of something, someone, sometime, or someplace. Mainly reminders of such that I may never get back, which is exactly why they are called memories...

Why...

We want to ask why, we want a reason, an explanation, someone to warn us before bad things happen. The problem is that's usually never the case. Most times there isn't an explanation and even if there is a reason, we will never understand it. The reason why is way beyond our mental capacity.

This year has been full of unanswered whys, full of explanations that I can't understand. I know God has a plan, which we should never question, no matter how hard it might be. But I have found myself questioning... People, loved ones taken too soon. Jobs lost, friends forgotten... shouldn't there be an explantion for it all?
In turn this year has had moments that have taken my breath away, moments I will cherish and moments I will hold in my heart forever. Yet I still find myself asking why? What did I do to deserve these things while others are so unfortunate. It's that explanation I will never understand.
Through our struggles, our trials, our tribulations there is good... there are times to smile and there are also times to weep. These times will only make us stronger, only get us closer to that understanding of WHY.

Clarity

"You know when you have reached the point, that fork in the road. You have to make the ulitimate decision that will affect the rest of your life. Unfortuantly this always seems to happen when you are not ready for it and barely have time to think about it. You make a decision you regret, or you make a decision that will make everything better, or at least some things better. All you want is clarity, clarity in your life, clarity in your mind but most importantly clarity in your heart. You want to walk in that room and feel completely at ease knowing you have made the right decision and anyone that doesn't believe that can go f themselves. Why do we all strive for satisfaction from everyone else, everyone else isn't living your life. It's your life, it's your decision, it's your happiness. If your so called friends, don't support you in the decision you make, the decision that will make you happy, then what kind of friends are they? I once heard you will die a lucky person if you have 5 good friends in your life, 5. So why am I so concerned about all of these "friends" its all fake, its all about that satisfaction. Who cares, I want to surround myself with people who actually care about me for me, not for choices I have made or will make. We all make mistakes, we all trip and fall down, and yes we all get back up, its part of life. Some falls are worse than others and some take us a lot longer to get up from but eventually when the time is right we move on and our past is forgotten. At least it should be forgotten because we aren't God we can't go back and change things, all though sometimes we pray we can. Stop living in the past, grow up, learn and move on, its called Life. Stop listening to what everyone else in the world has to say and listen to what's inside yourself. If it says to go to the right then go, but if it says go to the left then do it. Take a chance on what you want, what you believe in and forget about everyone else. If they really care they will be there in the end. Everything will will fit together in the end. The pieces might be a little dirty, they might be a little worn but they still fit the puzzle. I am finally taking that step in the other direction, that direction my heart, mind and soul have been screaming at me to take but I have been ignoring because I was to busy and caught up in everyone elses words and life. If you really care about me, if you really are concerned with my happiness you will be there in the end. When the dust settles and the skies are clear, when that "clarity" we have been looking for is there, will you be?"

To Realize...

To realize The value of a sister/brother
Ask someone Who doesn't have one.

To realize The value of ten years:
Ask a newly Divorced couple.

To realize The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize The value of one year:
Ask a student who  Has failed a final exam.

To realize  The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize The value of one month:
Ask a mother  Who has given birth to  A premature baby.

To realize The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize The value of one minute:
Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize The value of one second:
Ask a person  Who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.

You will treasure it even more when
You can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member:

LOSE ONE.

A busy summer coming to an end

Connecticut Sunset

Missouri Sunset

What a summer it has been. From starting a new job to July recruiting to many adventures in St. Louis, this summer has been a success. Maybe a little damaging to my bank account but still a success. I love my new job, the people I am working with and especially being back in Missouri. Although there are many people and things (the Beach) I miss back in CT, I am settling in nicely here.

This was my first experience of July recruiting and what a July it was. Out of every where I went (Indy, Chi, B-Town, KC) I will have to give props to Indy. It's a fun city and I really enjoyed spending time here. Now of course KC was my favorite by far but mainly for the fact its like a second home to me. I know that city like its the back of my hand as well as knowing many people that live there I was able to see. Lets not forget about the whole purpose of July, recruiting... it's not as bad as someone might think. Sitting in a gym watching basketball for 8-10 hours a day could be a lot worse, but when you are surrounded by an assortment of other coaches you're bound to have a little fun.













Definitely one of the highlights of my Summer was my 15 hours spent in Ames for a little Cyclone reunion. Like I have mentioned in my blog many times, those ladies are my best friends, and they always will be. We had a great time pretending like we were seniors all over again and had just made it to the Elite 8.

Kenny Chesney and Billy Currington

Craig Morgan at the Rodeo!

 I think I saw more concerts and Cardinals games this summer than I have in a long time. From Kenny Chesney to Craig Morgan and a few Cards win... it was all worth it!

To finish up my summer, I made a fantastic purchase off of Stub Hub... Another Concert... Taylor Swift tickets and you better believe it, it was worth every penny I spent. She was amazing, and her concert is like none I have been to before. So many props, wardrobe changes, and different sets. As I sat surround by 8-15 year old girls screaming at the top of their lungs, I decided this is definitely one of the finer moments in my life :).

Don't Quit - Don't give Up.

When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,

When the funds are low and the debts are high

And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,

When care is pressing you down a bit,

Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,

As every one of us sometimes learns,

And many a failure turns about

When he might have won had he stuck it out;

Don't give up though the pace seems slow--

You may succeed with another blow,

Success is failure turned inside out--

The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,

And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far;

So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.